Friday, March 24, 2006

And they say it ain't easy



See, you just tell 'em, "I don't smell no dinner cooking", and they jump right to it. You just gots to know how to keeps em under control. Ya heard?







Actually, I agreed to help Mormon Girl with an accounting assingment of hers and she was gracious enough to make dinner. Thank you. It was very good. Little, um, warm , but very good. See that bottle she's shaking into the pan? That's her putting in the six metric tons of chili powder. I'm kidding. It was good. Probably better than the help I gave her.

Oh and yes that is my apron and I do wear it when I'm cooking. It was a gift from the Hypocrite when we were dating. We made a Valentine's dinner one year, hence the hearts and Her, Aniston and I wore matching aprons. The kid loved it and that, sometimes, is all that matters.

"But Richard, why do you still wear it?"

Three things:

A) Shut up

2) It's the only one I have.

C of all) Shut up.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

To know

I can't even remember what it was like to be tired and actually be able to fall asleep. Then, once asleep, to be able to go the whole night without waking up 10-12 times. Something's gotta give.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Making sure everyone will want to watch it now

This Big Love show that's coming on HBO after the Sopranos sunday has gotten some people's garments in a twist. The Mormon Church doesn't like it because, well, like all christian religions, they don't like anything tha doesn't come directly from them. Polygimist don't like it because " they're sure the series won't accurately portray the "boring" reality of their lives."

Now, if it's really that boring and it's not about the sex, which I've heard everyone of these guys say on every talk show they've been on, then what is the point? I don't see how boring it can be. You've got multiple women in a household sharing a man. How can that ever get boring? Two women are bad enough when they're just friends.

It's no surprise that the bulk of the show seems to be focusing on the three wives and their interaction with each other. We all know this. The cattiness of women is pure, solid entertainment.

Here's the CNN story.



If I'm watching something on ESPN Deportes (The Spanish language ESPN) and I hit the SAP button, does it show it in English?

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Sundays and Miracles

Phone call late last night, you missed me by like 2 min., our dear friend Anjala has gotten engaged. Good job. See, all those hundreds of years ago I told you, life has a funny way of working itself out. I may be talking out of my ass most of the time, but I've been known to pull out a nugget of truth from time to time. It's Richard, it's madness, yet there is method in it.

Congratulations.


~

Saw a church sign on the way home it read, "When Satan knocks on the door, let Jesus answer it". Yeah, that's not being ungrateful or anything. "Hey Jesus. I know you suffered for me and died a horriable, painful death hanging from a piece of wood in the hot, swealtering desert sun, just so all of my sins would be forgiven, but, uh, could you get the door please? Desperate Housewives is about to start. "

And think about how awkward that exchange would be. Satan knocks on the door and Jesus answers it.

Oh, hey Jesus, how have you been? Really? That's cool. How's the family? Oh yeah, guess your right. Sorry. Uh, how's your dad? Yeah, when you see him again, just tell him I was mis-quoted a lot and, you know, it's not personal, just business. Ok, well, um, take it easy, I guess. Nice sandals, by the way. You probably already know this, but Jerry died and Phish broke up. Twice. Just throwing that out there. But they look good on you though. You know, classic, old school. Doesn't get much more old school hippy than you. Anyways, be cool. See that, irony. Satan telling you to be cool. See, it's hot in hell....you know what, just...bye.

See, awkward.